Thursday, March 29, 2007

Was it worth?

My life at Syracuse University is close to an end. I have a GPA of 3.75 and might end up with a GPA of 3.9 if all goes well. I have been a research assistant for two years, worked extensively on computer/network security and OS internals. I have done independent study on genetic algorithms and have taken advanced courses like Compiler Design, Computer Security etc and to top it all I have been nominated for the Phi Beta Delta honor society. In short, I have achieved whatever one can possibly ask from a graduate school.... but was it all worth?

Well it may seem strange that I am questioning the worth of something I enjoyed doing. Life has been exceedingly fair to me till now but it seems that it has something else in store for me now. I haven't got a job yet, mostly because I have been picky about the jobs and that I have been rejected by all the jobs that I pick. Another sword of Damocles is the constant threat of H1B visas getting over. My future is totally unpredictable... I might break down, submit to consultants and work on some SAP/Peoplesoft job(god nooooo................). My daily schedule now includes talking to consultants, relatives and friends about jobs, checking the H1B quota.. praying for it to increase(first time in my life I am following politics :( ). All I need is a decent ground to launch a career.. Is that asking too much? I dont care about the money.. I have worked for free in the past.. all I want is exciting cutting edge work... Am i just a wide eyed academician and there is no such thing as "exciting work"? Would I grow old like everyone else and then oneday tell my kids and grandkids that I was once a good grad student... ?

I am in paranoid city.. so maybe I am thinking too much. May be something interesting will come along.. maybe I will get a good job...until then I gotta keep going.